week 45, 2026
it is november 9th 2026, 14:30h. weather app says it's 8ºc. WEATHER APP LIES. it's way colder than 8. cloudy & damp. my throat has been bothering me for like 3 days so i went to shoppers and got a thermometer. it turns out not only i don't have a fever when i think i have one, my body temperature is always kind of lower than it should be? like i'm a lizard or something? fascinating. new virus just dropped? my immune system won't even try. sorry kiddo, you're on your own.
officially started the new job, lots of feelings. giving mixed reviews to the whole experience so far, people are kind of unfriendly / bitchy / borderline deranged for no good reason. didn't move to the new place yet, but that should happen over the next 2 weeks.
READING
finished:
- the catcher in the rye, j.d. salinger
i'm so RELIEVED i'm not a teenager anymore, or holden caulfield would be one of those imaginary crushes whose non-existence used to fill me with useless longing. gladly i don't think complicated is the new sexy anymore. doctor, i'm cured! liked the book, though. i'm always available for endless inner monologues.
started:
- midnight in the garden of good and evil, john berendt
stuck in the middle:
- devotions, mary oliver
- figuring, maria popova
- the use of photography, annie ernaux & marc marie (this one was COMPLETELY forgotten but i just got a message from the library letting me know it was renewed again. which is good news because i don't know where the book is.)
WATCHING
(very bad week for movies)
- gasoline rainbow, 2023
nothing really happens but it doesn't matter because it's all about the vibes. road trip stories are my weak spot. not sure why. i don't even drive. probably because i'm always 5 minutes away from packing a little bag and disappearing.
LISTENING
lots of cocteau twins! something about going to work late at night just calls for cocteau twins. and massive attack. didn't realize how much i missed being a night creature until now.
DOING
not much??? worked a lot but all other aspects of my life are in stand-by and that makes me anxious. i know it's temporary and i'm just taking a couple of steps back before moving forward.
FEELING
slightly off & drained. i'm tired of being "the new person" over an over again. tired of adjusting and trying to understand hidden dynamics and power disputes or whatever that is. and seasonal depression doesn't make things easier.
WANTING
A BREAK!!! but it won't happen!! could use some sunshine. time to just exist. and putting a movie on without falling asleep within 10 minutes would be very nice.
PLANNING
- going for my flu shot
- setting up my kanopy account
- start unpacking (one can hope)
- getting bloodwork done (???)